Brave Day
by WP
Summary: Set immediately after chosen and based on Joss' infamous 'wish' gift to Buffy. please RR.
1. Chapter 1

**Brave Day**

**Part 1**

3 Days after the battle of their lives the surviving scooby gang, plus a few potentials and Andrew were still holed up in an out of the way motel.

They had drove the school bus to the nearest hospital where they dropped off all of the injured and Faith who had agreed to watch out for them all. After that, they had to find somewhere to sleep. The adrenalin had long wore off and everyone needed at least a day of undisturbed sleep.

Everything had happened so fast since they had piled back into the bus at the crater that used to be Sunnydale. 3 Days had seemed like a lifetime. No one had escaped unchanged. Willow had been the first to make a huge adjustment.

On day 1 of their new lives, she had told Kennedy she thought it was best if they ended there relationship. That she should go back home or go to school. She had a chance at a good life and she should take it. The break up had been more amecable than anyone ever would have thought with Kennedy's explosive temper, but it seemed that they both needed to move on now there was no impending doom hanging over them.

Giles was in his element. He had hardly been off the phone to every surviving decent watcher or contact he had. A new and definitely improved Watcher's council was starting to spread it's foundations with Giles at it's head.

They had an unknown amount of Slayer's walking around still thinking they were just girls and they had a duty to contact them, let them know what they're capable of. They were even talking of creating a place for them to train and learn.

Xander had already named it 'Giles' school for extraordinarily gifted girls.'

So now, the core 3, Buffy, Willow and Xander, were spread around one of their small motel rooms. Willow sat on the bed, Xander on the arm chair and Buffy was perched on the Window sill.

Willow was worried about her friend's. They had both lost someone they loved or could have loved. But so far, they hadn't spoken much. The first night, they'd all piled into one bed and cried for everything they'd lost. Xander had been near inconsolable. But they had yet to actually talk about Anya or Spike or all the girl's who sacrificed themselves. But where did they start? Talking hadn't been their strong point the past couple of years.

"This is weird. Isn't it?" Xander asked sadly.

Buffy nodded. "I got so used to not talking to you guys."

"Why did we do that?" Willow asked. "Why did we ever think separating ourselves would make life easier?"

Xander shrugged. "We grew apart I guess. I didn't even realise it but now it's so obvious."

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I thought I couldn't lead them and you if I was still your friend. I just wanted it to be over, to beat the First but it seemed like we'd never win so I thought if I wasn't relying on anyone, I wouldn't be destroyed every time someone died." Buffy let out a bitter laugh. "How stupid was that?"

"You done what you thought was best for us all and you lead us out of there Buffy. And we all took a step away from each other for our own reasons. We can't change that but we can fix it now."

"I think we can." Buffy said with a new found certainty.

"We're the scoobies, we can do anything." Xander added as the girl's grinned.

After a minute, Willow had to break the moment. "Guys... Are you ok?"

Xander and Buffy looked silently at one another. "Spike died saving all of us. He done good in the end and I think that's all that matters. He had longer than most of us so I'm not going to be sad. The world feels brand new and I can actually have a life now. And I still have you guys. So we'll make it through together." she said with determination.

"We will. I don't know how to deal yet but I no that Anya was here for over 1100 years and she got to see the world from every perspective. And I got to share my life with her even if it was only for a little while. I'll always love her, always, but maybe it was just her time."

Both girl's were looking at him with tear glistened eyes. Xander had grown into a mature man without them noticing it. He noticed the look in their eyes and approached the bed opening his arm out towards Buffy he signalled her over. The girls hugged him from either side and he wrapped his arms tightly around them.

"I love you." Buffy mumbled through Xander's chest to two best friends who took only a moment to return the sentiment.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just glad to feel so safe and so connected again. When they finally broke apart Willow, who was sitting cross legged across from both her friends, looked at them with a sombre face.

"You guys are both handling it so well. You've been so brave. They'd both be proud. I just want you to know that I'm always going to be here for you whenever it's too much."

"We know, Will. Thank you." Buffy said.

Xander reached out and took the Red head's hand. "What about you? The past few days can't have been easy. Are we going to talk about Kennedy?"

Willow gave a lopsided shrug. "You know that post-battle clarity? The last year has been so crazy. Nothing has seemed real. When Kennedy came along, she was a distraction. It seemed easier to just be with her. It sounds so bad now. I feel terrible because I felt so little for her. I mostly feel guilty."

"I'm sure Kennedy understands that it was a hard time for you." Buffy told her, trying to make her friend feel a little better.

Willow's gaze fell to the bed sheets. "I don't feel guilty for leading her on. I feel guilty for trying to move on so quickly. She deserves more than that. I don't want anyone but her, even though that means I'll be alone forever. She deserves that respect."

Buffy raised her hand and tucked a long strand of hair behind Willow's ear. "Will. She wouldn't want you to be alone. She'd want you to move on, to fall in love again. It doesn't mean you'd be forgetting her."

The witch raised her head and looked her in the eye. "I know. And that's why I love her but I can't. Look at the disaster with Kennedy. I think back to that and I cringed. How did that ever seem like a good idea? we were so different and I was so not ready. I put off grieving to pretend like I was just a single girl. I'm not."

Neither the Slayer nor the Cyclops knew what to say to that so the room fell silent. This made Willow feel incredibly bad. Buffy and Xander had literally just lost the people they loved and she was the one complaining.

"I'm so sorry, this isn't about me and Tara. It's so insensitive, you just lost Anya and Spike."

Xander finally spoke up. "No. Don't ever belittle your grief. We've all lost people and no one's pain is any more or less than the others. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. It was so different for you. Tara was ripped away by a coward with a gun. Anya and Spike knew they might not make out."

Willow's bottom lip trembled as she battled against her tears. "She's gone. Really gone." One strangled sob escaped before she carried on. "Her clothes, her books, her pictures. Her grave."

The tone of Willow's voice made Buffy shudder. Her pain was still so raw. She smoothly repositioned herself beside Willow and put her arms around the red head holding her close as they all let a few tears go.

After their emotions settled, the 3 Scoobies were spread top and tail on the cramped, questionable motel bed.

"So, you guys wanna go to the mall?" Buffy asked with a new freshness.

Willow and Xander nodded. "Sure."


	2. Chapter 2

**Brave Day**

**Part 2**

"Buff, you're fogging up the glass. The guard's been waiting for you to do something for the past 10 minutes. He can't work out if you're casing the joint or narcoleptic." Xander said with the demeanour of a 7 year old who'd had enough of being dragged around the mall looking at clothes.

Buffy's stare remained the same. "Uh huh."

Willow stood at Buffy's other side. "She's lost all higher brain functions. We need to get her away from the shoes."

Xander immediately straightened up, his spidey sense tingling. "Their brain sucking demon shoes?!"

This typically Sunnydale outburst caused both Buffy and Willow to turn their heads and look at him with the "Wha?" expression.

However, it didn't take long for Buffy's attention to return to the window display.

She sighed, "How did all of us forget our credit cards and ID?"

"The impending doom?" Xander offered.

"Oh yeah."

"Giles said it might take a couple weeks till everything's replaced. Damn legitimate way." Willow cursed.

Buffy groaned. "But I want the pretty shoes now!"

Willow nodded to Xander and they each took an arm and lead the slayer away. They had to get down to the arcade before closing to get Dawn and Andrew who probably used up their limited quarters in the first half hour.

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Buffy, for the second time that day, cursed the glass separating her from what she really wanted. The damn vending machine held far too many nummy treats that she couldn't possibly choose just one. But she could only afford one thing. Giles in all his stuffiness was not willing to dish out much money for junk food despite their very solid arguments that chocolate was a vital food group.

A sudden chilly breeze caused Buffy to shiver and wrap her arms around herself. She thought nothing of it until she saw a reflection in the glass and spun around ready for a fight. However, she couldn't move. Not only that, she didn't want to.

She had an unbelievably calm wash over her when she starred into the blurry mass before her. It looked like everything and nothing and she heard it talk but there was no sound. It told her that the higher beings were unquantifiably proud of her actions over the last 9 years. That the fight could have gone either way and it was largely due to her and her friends that the world still remained.

It then told her that they were offering her one wish, anything her heart desired, literally. A token materialised in front of her and she took it. It looked like pirate treasure from the movies. It told her to hold it to her forehead and make her wish when she had decided. There was one condition, no one else could no, she couldn't ask advice from her friends. The decision was her's and her's alone. Then it was gone, leaving her alone outside clutching a weird token.

The slayer just stood their. There was no doubt in her mind that what had just happened was real and genuine which meant she could wish for anything. Anything. Her mum could be alive again, she could have Angel - human, guilt free Angel. She could wish herself a life without vampires and demons. She had so much to think about, so she headed back to the room she was sharing with Dawn but made sure to put the token in her pocket first. She didn't want anyone knowing yet.

Dawn looked up from her magazine when her sister entered the room. "Hey. I think Andrew actually got sick of me. How weird is that?" Dawn frowned at the unresponsive slayer. "What's wrong?"

"Exactly." she mumbled before sitting next to Dawn on the bed. "Dawn, what's been the worst moment of your life?"

The teen looked mortified, she had no idea how to answer that. It was a question very rarely asked. She thought about a joke answer like, 'When Xander used her as an excuse to see 'from Justin to Kelly'. But for once that didn't seem appropriate. There was a vibe that Buffy really needed to know.

"Mom. Then You. That summer was so hard. Everything was different, I was alone. The other's were grieving just the same but Tara was always there at the right moment, when it was too much. She didn't try to replace you or mum but she cared for me like you guys."

Buffy felt a lump in her throat. "I never thanked her for that."

Dawn looked down at her hands, "When I found her, I knew the second I got in the room I was too late. All I could think of was all the time's she would talk with me or let me cry or just sit with me, not saying a thing. I wanted to do that for her. I didn't really know what had happened but I knew she'd been shot. It was so... wrong. It wasn't natural or..."

"Heroic?" Buffy offered.

Dawn nodded slowly. "Yeah. She deserved to at least have that after all the good she did."

Buffy pulled Dawn into a short tight hug and kissed her head. "Thanks Dawnie. You wanna go

find the others and play some poker?"

"Yeah. But I'm not playing for popcorn kernels again." She said as she headed for the door.

Buffy followed hoping that some down time would help her think.

------------------------------

Angel. It finally hit her. She could be with Angel. The wish could get rid of the curse or make him human or make them all human and normal.

Except that was selfish. It wouldn't be what Angel would want. He was trying to earn his redemption, taking the easy way out would change him, make him incomplete. He wouldn't be the man she loved anymore.

Then there was Spike, she could bring him back to life... or unlife. But that would completely undermine his sacrifice. She believed that his soul was finally heading someplace good, she wouldn't tear him away from that.

And Joyce. Having her mother with her again seemed like such a comfort but Joyce had died a natural death, it didn't really feel like her territory. Plus, she remembered her time in heaven. The calm and serenity she felt knowing that Joyce was there with her, she didn't want to take that away from her.

Hanging out with Xander earlier that night it was plain to see he was missing Anya. Dawn had suggested they play Life and Xander had barely been able to look at them let alone speak for a few minutes. But Anya was over a thousand years old, she'd seen places and events other people had never even heard of.

It all lead back to Tara. She was the one who only got 21 years. And they weren't even full of happy times, that was all stolen from her by Warren. Tara had unfinished business and Buffy could give her that back.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, sorry for the delay but its an extra long update. And promise it won't be as long for the next. Thank you for your reviews.

**Brave Day**

**Part 3**

Buffy and Dawn had left Willow and Xander 15 minutes ago and Dawn was already out. She couldn't get her mind to slow down enough to sleep. She had a life changing, power of God type gift and she was just terrified of making the wrong choice. She needed to be with her friend and just feel safe till the tomorrow when she'd make her wish.

Two minutes later she was knocking on Willow's door. She left a note for Dawn saying she was next door. Not that Dawn would notice, she probably wouldn't wake up till Buffy made her.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

The slayer looked Willow with her best puppy dog eyes. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"You really think you have to ask?"

Buffy leaped into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. "Nope but I hear its good manners."

"Well, you heard right girly." Willow climbed under the covers and turned to face the blonde propping up her head in her hand. "So, any reason for this sudden slumber party?"

Buffy paused for a little too long in Willow's book. "Just thought we had some carefree times to catch up on."

A wave of nostalgia overtook the Witch. "I guess we do. Only now, its kind of impossible. So many of them are gone and we're just stuck here in limbo."

Buffy couldn't reply, there was nothing she could say to that because it was completely true.

"Wow, that was kinda profound, huh?" Willow said after a few moments to break the tension.

Buffy smiled and stroked Willow's cheek. "You've always been the thinker Will."

"Yeah, well you guys didn't leave me much choice."

Buffy swatted her arm.

"Buff, do you feel... I want to say numb but that's not right. Do you just feel kinda..."

"Like nothing feels as desperate or intense?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah! It's just everything feels different. It's not all life or death anymore."

Buffy frowned, "It's weird isn't it? The last couple of years have been so crazy that we've been running on adrenaline and now it's just... nuh."

Willow's worried face made an entrance. "And I'm not so sure I like this. It's like I'm emotionless in comparison. There's only one thing that still hurts the same."

Buffy opened her mouth to say she understood but nothing came out. Instead she shocked Willow as a tear fell horizontally down her face. She knew something was seriously bothering the blonde.

"Sweetie, what can I do?"

The slayer tried to suck it up. "You've already done it." Buffy wiped her face a final time then looked at her best friend. "Can we sleep? I just want it to be tomorrow."

Willow tucked a stray piece of hair behind Buffy's ear. "Of course. Just promise me one thing. No sleep slaying. If I wake up with one bruise on my back missy."

Buffy gave a lop sided smile. "Promise."

Willow put off the light and they were both soon asleep.

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Willow woke up with the sun shinning through the thread-bare curtains on her motel room. She rubbed her eyes, stretched then rolled over expecting to see Buffy sprawled beside her but the her side was empty, only the rumpled pillows let Willow know the impromptu sleepover wasn't just a dream.

The witch got up and started to get ready, she wanted to go find Buffy and make sure she was ok. Last night it was obvious there was a lot she wasn't saying.

When she was dressed she decided to go to Buffy and Dawn's room. Knocking on the door she heard a fumbling then a dishevelled looking Dawn through open the door and grunted something.

"Is Buffy in there?"

Dawn swung her head around, looked around the room then turned back towards Willow and shook her head.

"Ok, sorry sweetie, go back to bed."

Dawn just nodded then closed the door. Willow couldn't help but let out a chuckle. Funny, half conscious teen.

She headed to Xander's room next. She knocked on the door and once again found herself waiting just a little too long. As she was about to leave Xander came bounding up behind her looking a little wide-eyed and dishevelled.

"Hey Will! Whatcha doing? Had breakfast? Want to go inside and get some? I have Twinkie's and apple juice!" While spewing that out he had opened his room door and began herding Willow inside.

"As appealing as that breakfast of champions sounds I was looking for Buffy. I'm a little worried about her." She admitted.

Xander sat down and patted the bed next to him. "hmm, really? Tell me all about it."

Willow frowned but sat down. "Why are you acting so weird? Change that to wired."

Xander huffed, "Fine. You've beat it out of me. I've had 2 red bulls and 3 coffee's this morning."

Willow looked at him like he had just admitted to some social taboo. "Xander! Your head will explode, it's only 11!"

The scruffy haired boy shrugged it off. "Let's not worry about it till the comedown."

Willow looked at him and shook her head once more. "Do we need to monitor your diet? Or maybe have Andrew be your chef? You know how he likes to cook. And you, Mr, are getting to old to drown yourself in caffeine."

Xander hung his head in faux shame. "I don't need Andrew, ever the den mother, assigned to me. I was bored, it won't happen again."

The red head gave a nod, happy with herself. "Good. Now back to Buffy. Has she been acting strange with you?"

Xander looked up with a frown. "Will, what behaviour is normal right now?"

Willow realised that was completely true. They were all going through a really strange period of trying to find out who they were and where they were going. But she still knew when her best friend was in serious turmoil about something she wasn't talking about.

"Xand, she came to my room last night and asked to sleepover. She was asking questions and she was just… she was upset and it was just like she was keeping something from me."

Xander put his hand on the witches shoulder. "We're all trying to sort things out in our heads and maybe Buffy was just having a bad day. There's gonna be a lot of those to come and if we're there for each other, like you were there for her last night then we'll get through. We just have to be brave when we're needed."

Willow smiled gratefully at her best friend. "Brave days and Bad days." she said quietly.

Xander smiled back and pulled Willow into a hug. "Exactly."

When they separated Willow stood up, "Wanna come to Giles' with me?" She could see Xander's eyes darting around, a sign that he was trying desperately to think up something.

Her eyes narrowed. "We're going to Giles' now. There's something going on and I know it."

Xander shoot to his feet, "Wait!" When she turned to him and stood with her arms crossed and a 'go ahead, I'm waiting' look he continued. "You should know something, before we go down to Giles'. I know why Buffy was being weird. And I'm sorry I didn't say it there but Giles told me not to say anything yet and I panicked."

Willow was a little hurt but it didn't really matter to her right then. "Please just tell me what's going on."

"Yesterday some crazy spirit-y type wish-angel from the Powers that be gave Buffy one life-altering wish and the one condition was she couldn't tell anyone, that it had to be her decision."

Willow could feel her insides twisting up. "What did she decide?" she asked pensively

"That's not for me to say. Just remember that it was Buffy's wish and only her's."

Willow nodded. "I know. She's at Giles'?"

Xander nodded and followed Willow out.

The red head was thinking of everything Buffy could wish for. She thought about last night, about what had been said. She said that losing Tara was all that hurt the same. For Buffy, it had to be losing Angel or Joyce that hurt the most. Or maybe it was losing the chance at a normal life.

Willow tried to just walk straight in to Giles' room but the door was locked so she knocked and waited impatiently, Xander at her side. It felt like waiting for exam results to arrive. Finally, Giles opened the door. He took one look at the two and let out an "Ah."

"Where's Buffy? Was the wish legit?" She asked.

Giles ushered the two inside. Buffy was stood against the wall.

"Hey. Do you guys like my new shoes?" She asked as she posed, showing them off.

Willow instantly recognised them as the shoes from the mall, the shoes Buffy had considered robbery for. But they were not 'life-altering.'

"You used your wish on shoes?" Willow asked with a calmness in her voice that was not reflected in her mind.

Buffy gave her a lopsided smile, "No silly." then she headed for the door, the guys ahead of her. Willow turned, watching them go with a confused frown in her face. As one door closed she heard another open. Turning back to face into the room she realised someone was standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

Someone who looked exactly like Tara. Tara who had died over a year ago.

"I thought I'd at least get a hug but can I at least get a hi?" Tara asked while she nervously wrung her hands. Willow was just standing across the room from her, staring at her and not giving anything away.

The red head tried so hard to keep it together when she heard that voice. She had two options, the sensible and safe way of getting someone to verify that this was definitely Tara or she could run over there and wrap her arms around the women she's loved and missed so much regardless of the consequences.

She didn't really have to think about it. It was always the second one, every time she thought and dreamt of seeing Tara again it was this way.

Willow launched herself at the blonde, the two of them fell to the linoleum that covered the bathroom floor, kissing before they hit the ground. Using her elbows for leverage Willow let one hand get lost in Tara's hair while the other gently traced the side of her face as she pressed her body into Tara's.

Tara groaned as she was re-introduced to Willow tongue. But all too soon it was over. Willow pulled back and was now resting just above her face, their eyes levelled. She watched as red and tears engulfed the emerald.

She brushed back the red locks from Willow's face. Her hair was so long.

"Tell me what's going on in there?" she asked quietly.

Willow seemed to gulp. "You're here?"

Tara kept strong despite the urge to curl up and cry at the look in her lovers eyes. "I am. I'm here for good."

"Do you… What do you remember after the… shots." All Willow could think was she was deceiving Tara again. That she'd find out what had happened, what she'd done and leave her again.

Tara frowned. There was something in Willow's voice that was making her dread what had happened after she died.

"I don't remember anything between the shots and getting here half an hour ago." She saw something change in Willow's eyes, she reached a new height of fear.

Before she could ask anything more the red head and pounced off of her. As she stood up, and out of the way of the bathroom, Willow had slammed and locked the door. A second later she heard heaving through the door.

"Willow! Open the door." She begged as she stood flush against the white painted wood.

Willow pushed away from the toilet bowl, her back resting against the door. She was breathing fast, tears streaming down her face from the vomiting.

"Please! Tell me what's wrong." Tara begged again. She could hear Willow's ragged breathing.

Willow drew her knee's up and wrapped her arms around them. "You have to go. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm so sorry." the red head cried.

Tara raised her hand and placed it on the door. Her voice was breaking her heart. "I wanted you to kiss me, I still want you kissing me. Sweetie, I'm back, I'm not going again."

Willow's fingers dug into her head as she tried to stay in control. "You're going. You won't want me anymore and you shouldn't. Please, I can't have you and loose you again. I can't take it."

The blonde heard her sob through the door after a barely audible 'Can't take it'. "Willow, calm down, I need you to tell me what's going on so I can fix this."

Tara was met with only more sobbing. She let out a shaky sigh as she tried to think of how to get through to Willow. She wasn't sure how her powers would be working so that was a last resort, but still a possibility. She considered going to find one of the scoobies but she couldn't leave Willow.

Then Andrew happened.

"Mr. Giles I found Jaffa Cakes! I tho- Ahhh!! The First is back! The First is back!"

She recognised the blonde boy who came barging through the door and quickly began running around screaming.

"Your Tucker's Brother?"

This stopped the prancing boy. He looked her up and down then lifted an eyebrow. "Your just trying to get a rise out of me and it's not going to happen cause we really kicked your butt Mr. Incorporeal!"

Tara was now beyond confused. "What? I'm a Miss and I'm corporeal." She paused. "Now."

Andrew still looked cautious. He then realised what he was holding and threw the box of Jaffa Cakes to Tara.

The blonde caught the blue box of confectionary that flew at her then looked back to the guy.

"Ha! Your real! Did Willow do this? I knew she was going to after she dumped Kennedy and her magic is all CIA instead of SD-6!"

Tara gawked. "Can you please just tell me what happened after I died?"

Andrew shrugged then sat on the bed with his legs crossed. He decided that this should be one of those times he tells the truth as it happened. Not as he 'geeked it out' as Dawn had put it. "When Warren shot you and Buffy-"

"Warren!? Buffy?!" Tara clasped a hand over her mouth and took a breath. Now wasn't the time for reacting. She needed the facts so she could help Willow.

When given the signal Andrew continued. "Willow went craz-ee. She was all hopped up on the dark magic's and she killed Warren and tried to kill us. But I done quite well holding her off." Ok, maybe just a little bit of embellishment. "Then, Mr. Giles had to come and stop her with all this other magic but she stole it from him and she went crazier, like Harley Quinn crazy. She tried to end the world but Xander saved the day. And this year, she dated a Potential who was like Faith-wannabe number one, then we all fought the first and Willow made all the Potential's into Slayers. So we think she's all good again. Especially since she dumped Kennedy." Andrew smiled cluelessly. "And now your here so I guess that was good timing."

Tara was trying hard to keep all that information in her head even though all that really registered was Willow. Dark Magic. Killed and Kennedy.

"Thanks Andrew." She tossed the Jaffa Cakes back to him and when he left went back to the bathroom door, sliding down it she listened. There was only the occasional whimper now.

"What he said was true. I killed and I was with someone else. So, you can leave now. I can make sure you get a new identity and send the details on." Willow said from through the door trying to keep her voice as strong as possible.

"No." She said sternly.

Willow almost crumbled again but held it together. "Ok. I'll leave. Go to room 34, if the gang isn't there, try 47. I'll be gone in half an hour." She stood up and wiped her face on her sleeves.

Tara was mortified. Willow would actually leave everyone just because she said so. She was punishing herself to this extent? What the hell had she missed?

When she heard Willow shuffling, she realised Willow would come out the second she left the apartment, or when Willow thought she had. She ran over to the door, opened it then closed it again quite loudly. Then she ran back over to the bathroom and stood to the side, hoping Willow wouldn't see her straight away.

Just as planned, the red head opened the door and pensively walked out. Before she could even realise it, Tara had moved behind her and wrapped her arms around Willow in a tight embrace, her chin on Willow's shoulder.

"I don't want any of us to go anywhere. I just want you to talk to me." Tara whispered.

Willow let her head drop. "Please." She let out a gut wrenching sob. "I can't see you hate me."

"I'd never hate you. Will. I'm so confused right now. I've missed all this stuff and I don't think Andrew was the best source of information. Just sit with me and tell me what happened."

It was a statement. And when she felt Willow's body loosen she knew they had reached an agreement. She breathed in Willow's scent once more, she still smelled the same, then slowly let go of Willow.

Neither of them moved for a moment. Then Willow turned around but still kept her head low, avoiding Tara's eyes. The red head went to the wooden chair. The one person chair so Tara sat on the edge of the bed a meter from her.

"I watched you die and I summoned Osiris but he wouldn't bring you back. So, I sucked up all the black magic I could find, from books, from Rack, from Giles. I killed Warren. I went after revenge and I got it. It got worse though. When I stole the magic from Giles I was so connected to the world, I heard and felt all the pain and I tried to end the world, put them out of their misery. Xander stopped me."

"If anyone could it would be him." Tara said fondly thinking of the now one-eyed man.

Willow, who was still yet to look up from her trembling hands, gave a small nod.

"Afterwards, Giles took me to a coven in England. I spent 3 months learning to control the power I still had. But I had to come back early. The First Evil had started killing the potential slayers and it destroyed the Watchers council so the potential's started coming to Sunnydale."

Willow stopped and looked up at Tara for a moment then let her gaze fall again. Tara could have sworn she was trying to fade into the chair and disappear.

"I… I never looked at another girl when I was with you. Or another guy. It never occurred to me. I loved you, only you, but then… Then Kennedy arrived and she kept flirting with me and I thought she'd stop but she never did. I gave in and I was with her. I'm so sorry. I was weak and alone and she was so different to you. But I ended it. As soon as we got here I ended it because it wasn't ever real. It was this thing that happened in a really tense environment, we were all gonna die. The First was unstoppable and so many potentials died, so many of us. It was comfort and she was a good person but I could never her love her. You're the only one in my heart."

Tara was trying to hard to keep her composure. The petty part of her wanted to be jealous, to hate this Kennedy person but the rational side of her that loved Willow understood and was at least a little pleased that Willow hadn't been alone.

"It's ok. I want you to be happy, always, whether I'm here or not. I'm just trying to find out what I missed. I'm not upset you moved on."

Willow looked up at this, the haunted look in her eyes truly scared Tara. "I never moved on. Everyday, every hour I'd realise you were gone."

A tear streamed down Tara's cheek as the two held eye contact. Willow, upon seeing that tear felt her heart tighten. She fell to her knee's in front of the blonde and wiped it away with her thumb.

"Please don't cry." she breathed.

Tara cupped the other witches cheeks in her palms. "I know you saved the world. That you made all those girls into Slayers. You are a good person, you're a scooby." Tara told her with her hand over the red heads heart. "I can see all the pain in your face and your eyes and your voice. What you did, I can understand, I don't think I could have kept going if it'd been you. But you came back from it, you didn't let the magic consume you and you used it for good when it mattered."

Willow's eyes were swelling with tears again.

"You didn't see what I'm capable of. I almost killed everyone. I threatened Dawn. I'm not what you deserve. You have a second chance, don't waste it on me." she begged, still down on her knees.

"No. We have a second chance, Will. You could have taken the easy way and gone through with it but you stopped, you've been making amends. And the power you must have had to access to give all those girls their powers must have needed so much control."

Willow looked up with her puppy dog eyes, "It was pretty nifty." She admitted.

Tara grinned tearfully. "This is crazy."

Willow's hands now rested on Tara's knee's. "It really is."

Tara pulled her girlfriend's face towards her own and kissed her. It soon escalated as Willow moved from her position on the floor to on top of Tara on the bed, their lips never parting.

As Willow's hands roamed and she felt her skin on Tara's and the heat that transferred she unintentionally sobbed causing her to break the kiss. Rolling to the side she lay on her back and brought her hands to cover her face.

"Baby?" Tara asked as she turned onto her side.

"I'm so sorry. It's too much." She said through her sobs.

Tara tried to pry Willow's hands from her face. "It's ok. We'll take it slow." Now able to see the red heads face she leaned over and kissed her forehead. "What can I do?"

Willow tried to compose herself and held Tara's hand. "Nothing. I just don't know what's going on. I know you're here but I can't… I still know you were gone and that this could be some dream or hallucination or trick. But having you beside me, kissing you, it makes me so happy it hurts."

Tara was silent making Willow regret her words. She didn't know if she was describing how she felt well. It was all so jumbled in her own head. She guided Tara's hand to her stomach and placed it palm down just above her belly button.

"It constantly twists in there. It's doing in now. It started the second you were gone." She watched Tara bite her lip trying to hold back her tears. "It's all I had. It was my connection to you and everything you meant to me. When I was England, I thought I was there to be killed or punished but when I wasn't and I was alone at night, I cried. I cried so much but I didn't give up and die because of this. It was pain and it was real and it was better than being numb and empty. You still saved me."

Tara couldn't have said anything if she tried. Instead the couple found themselves in a tight embrace, both just needing to be closer.

The minutes melted away as they laid in each other's arms just trying to remember to breathe.

"Dawn, just slow down, they'll come out when they're ready." They heard Buffy's voice from outside the room.

"No! This isn't something I can sit in a crappy motel room and wait for. This is Tara. You can't just wake me up and tell me she's alive and downstairs. Not after everything." The teen told her sister.

"I should go out there." Tara said, neither girl had moved yet.

"If your ready." Willow offered.

Tara kissed Willow's neck then untangled herself and sat up. "This isn't about me." She paused and listened to the squabbling sisters. "Good to know some things haven't changed."

Willow stayed close as Tara opened the door instantly silencing the Summers' girls.

Dawn saw that smile that she only ever got from her mom and Tara. "Hey Dawnie."

The brunette threw her arms around Tara's neck and hugged her tightly.

The witch stroked her long hair and after a moment pulled away but held onto the teenagers hands. She took a good look at the girl and found herself realise the magnitude of the time she'd missed.

"You look so grown up." she admitted tearfully.

Dawn smiled despite her tears. "Your actually back. I missed you, I wish you'd been there for the battle."

Tara swallowed back the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry, Dawnie."

Dawn hugged her again, happy to hear that name from Tara herself. "Just don't do it again."

Tara agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Last part guys, hope you enjoy it.**

**Part 4**

The group, Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Giles, Willow, Tara and Andrew, were all gathered in the one room now. At first Giles had been quizzing Tara, checking her out to make sure she was actually alive but Willow had been overly protective and they had all agreed that this was genuine.

Willow had remembered the shoes and asked Buffy where she'd got them. But Giles had claimed responsibility for that.

"Money is finally becoming accessible and Xander told me of the shoe incident so I sent him first thing this morning to get them."

"So there like a 'happy averting the yearly apocalypse shoes?'" Dawn asked sincerely.

Giles nodded with an amused smile, "Yes. That's how they shall be known. Along with Tara."

The blonde blushed.

"Obviously I think you all deserve 'averting the apocalypse shoes' or some other appropriate gift but it will be delayed, I thought you would all appreciate food and shelter more." Giles told them.

Andrew sat up straight. "Oh! Can I put in a request for the star-"

"No." Giles said simply. "You were a prisoner for all intents and purposes and although you have paid your dues in our eyes, you do not get a gift from me."

Andrew huffed and crossed his arms frowning. "This is so unfair. Willow got off the hook and she killed Warren! I didn't do any more than her and I'm still getting punished."

Everyone looked ready to strangle him but to the group's surprise Tara beat them to it. She turned to him set him in his place with her glare.

"Don't dare say that. She didn't need to be punished because her conscience has done it for her. And that creep killed me, and you were on his side. It's not ok what she did but at least she's not delusional enough to take no responsibility for it."

Andrew's eyes were now glued to the floor as he whispered 'sorry' then made the sensible choice to shut up.

The rest of the group just looked on astonished.

"Remind me not to piss you off." Xander told the witch who just gave a nervous laugh.

Willow, although bothered by what was said just stroked her thumb over the back of Tara's hand.

"So, anything fun happen this year? Anymore musical outbursts?" Tara asked breaking the awkwardness.

Everyone pondered it.

"Oh! We thought Giles was the first and had to go out to the desert to find him and check." Xander said.

Giles sighed as he wiped his glasses, "Yes how could I forget the night 4 of you tackled me to the ground and prodded me."

Tara laughed, "You make it sound so fun, Mr. Giles." He simply lifted an eyebrow.

"Or the time I had a huge crush on a boy at school then found Buffy straddling him in a class room." Dawn announced while giving Buffy a look. The older Summer's simply hid her face in horror.

"Then Willow joined the club and tried to turn him into a woman." She added.

Tara looked between the two mortified girls with a slightly mortified look. "You all fell for some boy Dawn's age?"

Everyone chimed in for a "no!"

Xander informed her of the enchanted letter jacket.

"Ah, Ok, that makes sense." Tara said.

"It wasn't really a funny year." Buffy said as she considered everything that had happened.

Tara felt Willow tense up beside her. Her green eyes were pensive.

"There's still a lot you don't know." Willow told her quietly.

"I will though."

Willow nodded although the dread was written all over her face.

The door swung open and there stood Faith in the same clothes she'd been wearing for 2 days. She'd taken hospital duty since Wood was their and she had more reason than the rest to be near.

As she surveyed the room her eyes fell on Tara. She recognised her from the photo's and the one time they'd technically met.

"Hey, dead chick." she said nonchalantly.

Tara squirmed at being called that. "Hi."

"Faith, long story. How's Robin?" Buffy asked.

The dark slayer nodded, "He's doing better. Forgot how slow human healing goes. Thought I'd come here for the night, change, sleep, hang out." She said with a shrug.

"Xander, why don't you take Dawn and Andrew and get us all dinner." Giles suggested as he handed him a wad of cash.

"Sure. Chinese?" he asked the group. They all agreed, they'd all discovered fast that it was Chinese or dodgy diner food.

As the 3 headed out Faith straddled one of the wooden chairs. "So, things been quiet or is Blondie some sign of another apocalypse?"

"There was a deal with a wish. She's not here to warn us about anything." Buffy informed her.

"Cool." She said, happy enough with the explanation. "So, where am I staying tonight? Not that I'd mind bunking with Red and her girl but I figure they want some alone time."

Tara blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to kick you out of your room."

"It's ok, you can just stay with me and Dawn tonight. You wanting to shower before dinner?"

Faith nodded and stood up. "Yeah, can't wait to get rid of the disinfectant smell."

Buffy stood up and followed her out to let her in her room. "Back here in half an hour?" She asked. Giles told her yes.

Tara and Willow shared a look then quickly excused themselves, heading back up to Willow's room.

Closing the door to their motel room the girls lay side by side on the Queen Size.

"We have a half hour, do you want to get cleaned up?" Willow asked.

"Nope. I'd rather spend it with you before we go back to the circus."

Willow stroked the blonde's hand but made no further action. Something Tara was very much aware of. She rolled onto her side, resting her head in her hand.

"why don't we start out easy. Faith."

Willow finally broke her staring contest with the ceiling and turned her head to Tara. Nodding thankfully she started the story of being called o LA to help find Angel's soul. And how eventually Faith had become Queen of the Slayers for a short time.

"I still can't believe that it's not just Buffy and Faith anymore. Do we have any idea how many girl's were activated?" Tara asked.

By now Willow was mimicking Tara's position, enthralled in their conversation.

"No! Giles has already called every connection he has asking them to note any Slayer's. Hopefully we can set up a new Watcher's Council and maybe set up some kind of a Slayer academy. Like in X-men only with Slayers. I've been trying to think of a spell that could help us locate every girl that was activated. But without access to books while we're here it's pretty much not going anywhere."

Tara's eyes lit up. "Do you remember the spell we used when we were trying to find Adam? We could probably tweak that to work for Slayers."

Willow grinned, "We definitely could."

The two fell into silence as they gazed at one another. Tara's hand left Willow's and travelled up her side, over her shoulder to her neck then through the back of her hair. This sent an army of tingles through the Witch's body.

Tara watched as Willow bit her lip. She was holding back. Tara tried to tell herself she was moving too fast, that Willow had been through a lot and they couldn't just go back to how it was.

As she felt Tara's hand quickly retract Willow opened her eyes.

"Will… What are we?"

"I don't know."

"What do you know?" she asked sincerely.

"That I love you. That I want you but I look at you and I don't know how I managed to live without you. I don't want to go back to that person I was without you."

A tear ran sideways down the blonde's face. "I love you. I want to fix this. You."

Willow cupped the other woman's cheek. "You're the only person who can."

Tara kissed Willow's palm. "God, I hate I left you alone feeling that way."

"You didn't do anything wrong. You were the innocent one in all of it. It should have been me." She whispered out the last part.

"No, look at what you did, you saved the world. That was always your destiny no matter how you got there."

"You're my destiny." Willow said with absolute certainty.

Tara kissed her. "I am now."


End file.
